Amy Danielle Quinn, Yorkshire Born and Bread

Fri, 08 Aug 2008 07:21:20 GMT

My lack of updates is depressing.
I will update soon!
Im off to Italy on Saturday so It may be for a while.
My mam is talking to the cat.
I mean yeah, I do enjoy Pesto's company.
But really though, I dont indulge in full blown conversations.
I need to get out of this house
x

Fri, 23 May 2008 11:16:09 GMT

Has everyone heard Laura Marling? you should...because she amazing x

Thu, 08 May 2008 21:01:40 GMT

I have terrible problems staying vertical.
My knees are permenatly black and blue.
Its a new feature.
My mother is worried.
x

Wed, 07 May 2008 19:46:40 GMT

I just decided to read back to what I was doing/feeling this time last year. and its pretty much the same.
Have I really wasted a whole year doing fuck all?
x

Tue, 22 Apr 2008 20:59:35 GMT

I hate driving. I really really do. I dont understand why I am made to feel like such a failure for not wanting to drive/not being able to.
I dont like doing it.
I dont think this makes me sub-human.
It fucks me off.
I dont want to do it.
I hate being in control of something so dangerous.
I dont feel disabled in anyway for not having a car.
I cant imagine ever being able to afford to buy a car!
Fuck It FUCK IT.
*stamps foot*
(I nearly killed my dad and myself tonight. I dont like that kind of responsibly. Id rather just get the bus thanks)

x

Wed, 12 Mar 2008 16:28:54 GMT

I didnt get the Japan job.
I found out on Monday after a weekend of a rather silly amount of partying, no sleeping or eating so I was pretty fragile and gutted and had a tantrum.
After all that!!!
I lost my job and I didnt get to see Tegan and Sara.
Im so angry that I dont even want to go anymore and I hate Japan and all Japanese people.
Im sure i'll get over it.
Company policy say that I cant even request feedback. So I wont even be able to improve myself and will continue to make the same mistakes.
I did aim for the very top of the all eikawa in Japan
and I was the youngest one there with no teaching experience or TEFL qualification.
never mind. sob.

I had a lush weekend though. Went up to Glasgow for Hanabanana's birthday. The flat was filled with everyone we know, it was pretty overwhelming at one point.
We`went dancing at Subculture and then spend the rest of the weekend rolling around in a massive fun bed.
I got to spend a ridulous amount of time with Claire Bear whom I only see every 2 years or so.
Shes absolute gold. She made me actually wet my pants rather a few times.
Quality Geordie Lass.
Im going to go play with her in Newcastle next weekend.

So yeah.
I have no money and no job and no prospects on the horizon.
This grown up life fucking sucks.

x

Sat, 01 Mar 2008 22:35:39 GMT

Ive not really had much to write.
Im a bit depressed and I HATE depressing entries.
I think my interview went okay! I just think I fucked up the grammer test.
It was super hard and I left most of it.
for example
'what is the difference between 'in' and 'within'?'
'what is the difference between 'Jealous' and 'Envious?'
'what is the difference between 'further' and 'farther'?
Really though? I was pretty gobsmacked and just sat there sweating.
The rest of the interview weekend was fine, just ridiculously stressful!
But yeah on the friday before I left for London I was working till 8. As I was walking out of the door the manager asked me again to work the weekend. I said I couldnt so she basically said 'if you dont come in, you dont come back'
She claimed id left her in the lerch, even though I had....
1.booked it off 6 weeks ago
2.Told her 3 weeks ago I could do it
3.Told the owners I couldnt work it
4.got Siobhan to cover.

Im taking it personally now. They have told other staff that they found out I went to a 'festival' in london not an interview and they sacked me for lying.
I think they just didnt like me and have used it as an excuse to get rid of me.
And so I have got myself into a paranoid depression. And i have too much time to think.

im fucking unemployed again! At this rate even if i do get the job I wont be able to afford to go!

x

Fri, 08 Feb 2008 22:22:55 GMT

I have an interview in LONDON with Aeon for a job teaching English to kids in Japan!
I applied secretly on a whim.
I had to write an essay and everything.
But now I have an interview!
Im shitting myself

x

Thu, 24 Jan 2008 13:56:31 GMT

Ive cheered up a bit.
Bex begged me to come to Canada with her promising a place to stay on her sisters land in exhange for help building her house.
It'll probably be in a trailer or a tent.
I dunno if i can do that these days, Im a bit of a lady now.
I mean when I was 18 it was fine that I lived outside didnt wash or brush my hair. But I like to be clean and groomed in my 20s.
And Ive already been to Cortes Island I know what to expect.
But hey I might just get a working visa, spend some time there and then go to Vancouver that has nightclubs, shops, tvs, internet and a place to plug in the straighteners.
Ive just lost most of my scratty hippy streak.
However the men on those islands are BEAUTIFUL. and they dont care that your hair is a matted mess and you havent shaved anything for months. In fact they like it.

I let Bex cut and bleach my hair. Big chunks fell out from over process.
Im going to Leeds tonight to stay with my sister. This should be interesting.
She has a lovely new flat, dead posh, Ill even have my own en suite.
And Rhys is coming through on friday for Momentum. I havent danced with Rhys for ages. Might treat myself to some drugs cos its a special occassion.
Lisa is fuming cos she thinks Rhys is the most annoying man on earth .Shes right. He is.

sorry to share this with you but my period started today on the walk from town. I didnt know wether to run(it might of encouraged flow) or walk careful(which means it take longer to get to the loo)I just did a funny waddle but by the time I got in it was all down my legs.
SO GROSS.

ciao

x

Tue, 22 Jan 2008 21:38:46 GMT

i applied for a job as a nanny with Mark Warner, which is a holiday company that has places all over europe. They send you somewhere hot for the summer and then into the mountain ski places for the winter. It sounds really exciting and they pretty much pay for everything including flights and accomadation.

Anyway. I didnt get it.
And Im really really gutted. I was hoping and hoping and wishing so much for this opportunity but they want someone with more qualifcations.
This was the one hope I was clinging on to for something to do and look forward to.
I didnt tell anyone that I applied because I didnt want people to be like AH WELL NEVER MIND if i didnt get it.

I hate being disapointed.
Im so sad :(
I need to sort something to look forward to or Im just going to carry on wallowing.

x

Tue, 20 Nov 2007 10:09:28 GMT

Dear Friends on my Friends list!
Does anyone have anyone on their Friends that they recommend that wouldnt mind me adding them? My Friends page has dwindled over the past year and now only like 5 of my friends update regularly. and I want more reading reading!
Im also having a spring clean of anyone that doesnt update anymore. I dont think its fair that they know about my life if I know nothing of thiers. I know thats not what Livejournal is about but I like to know whos reading. :D

Loves xxx

Tue, 24 Apr 2007 08:11:23 GMT

my life is unbelivable boring.

I am currently

-Trying to finish my degree so I can finally live
-Trying not to fascinated by Other Peoples Love Lives.
-Trying not to be jealous of Other Peoples Lives in general.
-Trying to find a husband
-Trying not to snatch babies from prams
-Trying to work out what to do with the rest of my life
-Trying not to eat my way to obesity
-Trying to juggle working like a bitch with being drunk.

And I also

-Hate the feeling of seeing someone that you know you fucked it up with and knowing that you can't change that now and spending the next week kicking yourself and thinking 'what if?'

-Hate the fact that my love life(or lack of it) has such an impact on my moods.

-Hate seeing someone I managed to fuck off with general mentalness making someone else really happy and being really happy themselves.

I do love mars Planets though. Very much.

x

Tue, 10 Apr 2007 19:29:44 GMT

changing faces.
my dad said i look different everytime i come home

i suppose hes right

which one is bestest? im bored of red

x

Mon, 09 Apr 2007 15:55:00 GMT

To speak without thinking is to shoot without aiming.

I can't write in here anymore for some reason.
I get scared lately that everything I say seems to cause me more problems.

Sat, 17 Mar 2007 20:01:36 GMT

Tue, 13 Mar 2007 08:59:27 GMT

Ive made my journal mostly private now.
If you want to be added please comment :)
Anyone not on my friends can only read about as far back as about Christmas.
I really didnt want to, but I realised that ive become really reliant on writing in here,as a form of stress relief/general way of being able to analyze stupid situations/keep track of drunkeness/hopefully learn from mistakes
And it has come to a point where i really need to know exactly who is reading it.
I have nothing to hide
i just dont want to have to feel paranoid about what im writing.

I have also had a mini friends cut.
If you are here.... i like ranting at you,i love your posts, i trust you and i know that you dont judge me.

x

Thu, 01 Mar 2007 13:03:54 GMT

Oh i forgot to add

We were so drunk last night that Lauren bought a bag of chips
She dropped loads in the cab and started eating them off of the floor.
but by accident she ate an old fag butt too.

x

Wed, 28 Feb 2007 17:25:03 GMT

From Lauren to me.......

It’s just you and I again baby. (Part 2)

“You must be my Lucky Star
because you shine on me wherever you are
I just think of you and I start to glow”

Fuck everyone else’s fake friendship along with
People who dump you for boys
Filled with humble coffee and awkward small talk
Fuck boys who lie and cheat
Fuelling our hate for men
Boring goldfish bowl idiots
Round and round they go
This is the shit…

Were Smurfs among greying boring badgers.
Complete and utter shamelessness
Between two divine ladies of leisure
I know you more than you know yourself
Stir fry’s, rollies’ and tea are your speciality
We know they make sense.

They'll name a seaside town after us
“Hoof on tooth”
I adore you
its all good
you’re so beautiful!

DONE!

xXx

Great friends make shitty relationships seem a hell of a lot shitter.
I have done fuck all today. I wandered about in a state of half stonedness.
Met Linz who was also in the same kind of state. We had a marathon chat as we marched about town,and i took sneaky photos in high street shops.
Ate sushi and had a boy talk with Nina.
I miss him, but I just want him to feel that hes lost something and he obviously doesnt.
Im carving again.
Its very theraputic if rather dangerous.
We supposed to be going out for Sarah's birthday tonight.
Orange Tree and Electric Banana.
Im skint and tired.
Ill eat and decide whether or not to give it a miss.
I might do, i feel like i need to do something different.
x

Fri, 23 Feb 2007 21:10:57 GMT

My ability to track people down/stalk on myspace amazes me.
Ive become exceeding good at it.
I love satisfied feeling of finally finding them and having a good old nose.
Its so wrong but so very right

Sun, 18 Feb 2007 15:23:17 GMT

Im gross.
I have absolulty no idea what is going on with anything at the moment.

We had a lovely dinner party hackling like witches talking about everything, i want Aislinn's cat. I am terrified about the decsion of whether to stay here or go.
i know that i want to move to leeds though, then i can regain my dopey yorkshire accent.
I cant be arsed to actually update feel so shit.
I felt so ill last night in the pub. i couldnt even go to rock city! i had to get the boy to take me home.

heres Hymee and Lucinda

rock city last weekend my hair was getting to be like a large hedge

its a lovely red bob now. im rather pleased, its very smart.

x

Thu, 15 Feb 2007 13:21:18 GMT

i feel grubby all the time.
and im too poor to buy the things that i need.
my hair is the most garish red colour.
it needs to go.
i dont know what i want to be when i grow up.
ive known this for about a decade now but the realisation has set in that i only have until about june to decide.

these pants are too tight. i bet i get thrush.
i watched a Very Long Engagment last night and the other night Garden State
absolutly amazing films. Garden State was lovely, im probably going to end up killing both films like i did with Amelie and Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind.

Boy didnt ask me to do anything for Valentines until uuuum about 8 in the evening.
too late love. Lauren, Sonia and I spent hours dissussing indepth details of sex.
i cant beleive what an accumulation of gross stories we have.
plenty of terrible bum sex/period dramas

if i lived in a perfect world, all my resin pieces would sand and buff themselves
i would have the money and the time to go out tonight
i would suddenly lose 2 stone
i would have a huge box full of kittens
KitKats would contain 0 calories
Legs would shave themselves
Accessorize would give me a job as a buyer
and he would never look or talk to another girl ever ever again

and Amy lived happily ever after
x

Wed, 07 Feb 2007 17:08:28 GMT

Ive been stuck in the library for days, hoofed up trying to get my dissertation finished. i think its finished. im writing this now as a form of procrastination.
i cant believe it may actually be done.
ive been doing it for about a 10 years now and im scared that it might be done and then i wont know what to do.
and im scared that its shit and its probably one of the most important pieces of work ive ever wrote.
my period is like the texas chainsaw massacre.
i cant wait to actual hold this my dissertation bound and shiny and throw it on Nickies desk and run away crying with relief.
my phone has also died. so has my laptop. i am essentially isolated from the world.
I feel like that horny Japanese mute in Babel who shows her fadge off to strangers and tries to get the dentist to frig her.
fucking get on with it.
London tomorow.
I wish my usless sister had sent me my camera.
the thought of seeing that boy again makes my tummy go funny. ive missed him this week and that scares me a bit.
ive felt this feeling before, its all butterflies at the start
and it all ends in fucking tears and whisky.
fuck it. everything happens for a reason.
chips cheese salad in a naan.

x

Fri, 12 Jan 2007 11:43:02 GMT

Absolutly bizzare night.
One of those ones when you just suddenly realise......shit. Im totally fucked.
Everyone one in the whole world was out
There was plenty of bitchiness going on but we rose above it...its just always going to be like that in Rock City.
Lauren was a gem with her drinking and was a fucking great partner in crime.
I feel I did behave rather badly.
I also danced to Linkin Park.
We gave everyone we knew a full body sleaze.
We got into City for free because Lucy had shagged the bouncer, she then proceeded to shout YOU SHOULD FUCK HIM....HIS PENIS IS THE SIZE OF MY LEG.
My sent items tell me I sent every bloke in my phone the word TOAD.
The only boys to reply were my best friend and the man ive been in love with for a year.
We found a broken umbrella, and gave it new life in the takaway.
I laughed so much I banged my head off the pavement.
And apparently i weeeed in the bath, dropped my bag in it and then proceeded to wipe my bag on the carpet. Lies.

Ive been messaging all the people I may of offended.
I saw a bloke ive been perving at on myspace for months, and he was just as cute in real life but I ran far away as I was increasingly losing my ability to speak and I felt like I looked a bit like Harold Bishop. I only seem to be able to make a tit of myself latly.
I dont think I even know how to do the whole pulling thing anymore anyway.
I wish my sister would send me my camera! I miss it so.

Heres where we went to visit the germans on boxing day.

x

Wed, 10 Jan 2007 23:30:48 GMT

The aids flu has gone, thank god.
Lauren and I awarded ourselves with a trip to wagamamas last night.
We drank a bottle of wine, then wanted more alchohol, which turned into being totally blathered in speak easy, dancing in the middle of the pub on acoustic night with Ben and Carl.
Had a lovely night actually, the boys were very amusing company.

Cait send me away from work, they just arnt getting enough people in to need two people there, so I shopped instead and bought an amazing coat from tk maxx. I want to actually have sex with it.
I wanted a cute dress or a pini but Im too fat and refuse to buy a bigger size so I bought 8 sets of fairy lights instead because they were 45p.
Our house is a wonderland.

Ive scrapped all of my work. I am so fucking sick of it. Ive spent the past week embroidering on the sewing machine.
And suddenly it dawned on me, that i really didnt want to waste my time on something I was hating the more I worked on it.

So at the moment im carving. To make casts, for maybe jewellery. I know I can do embroidery, it doesnt interest me anymore.
And to be honest it looks FUCKING NAFF.
im scared. i need to sort out what im doing. i dont have that much time really.
Ive wasted 10 weeks. And the final show is in June and the Free Range exhibition is in July.
I dont want to be the girl that gave up and just made big buttons.
now they were fucking naff

I saw a beautiful man today, made me realise how lonely Im actually feeling.
I know Im picky for a reason, but I want the perfect man to come NOW. Im tired of waiting.

x

Sun, 07 Jan 2007 14:45:52 GMT

So that prostitute is back. I mean why doesnt she just fuck off and die, we had the whole police prossie squad on her last time but she still seems to love living in our back yard.
I woke up feeling like I was wearing a hat made of bricks, washed my hair because it was starting to make me sick.
When I felt less dizzy I headed to the shop, to buy milk for tea when Lauren and her dad got back.
And the prossie was in front of me in the line. She turned round and squawked 'YOU GOT THWEEEE PEEE?'
it seems she didnt have quite enough pennies to buy her Special Brew.
She marched out and was just ahead of me and i KNEW she was going to walk up our drive.
I was just behind her and she perched herself next to our celler and had the cheek to grunt 'alright?' as I walked round into the house.
Nina phoned the police.
Shes stood on the corner shouting at people for 20p, 30p, or 50p depending on how she feels.
I inspected her bags, they contain.........
A scratty black box(i assume this smack)
4 needles
A pack of cards
Loads and loads of train tickets?!

I can lean out of our kitchen window and spit on her
So I did.

Lauren is back, i still feel too unbelievable shite to do anything though

x